Saturday, May 2, 2009

Farewell My Misspent Youth, Part One

JoAnn's had scrapbooking paper on clearance this morning. I wasn't in JoAnn's for scrapbooking paper at all but when I see "CLEARANCE - 25 CENTS" anywhere near the scrapbooking aisles, I stop. That's just responsible consumerism right there. So, I'm scrounging through the cardstock in the shelves near the floor and doing a quite thorough job of it, too, but when I stood up, the unthinkable happened.
I groaned.
I didn't mean to. And it wasn't a big groan. Just kind of a medium groan of the sort that escapes when your hips remind your knees that your 30th birthday (okay. . . and 40th birthday) has long since passed.
I was shocked. I stopped at half-crouch and looked around to see if anyone heard me.
Oh. my. god. What am I - 90 years old??? And if I'm already groaning when I stand up at this age, what's next - a cane? Liver spots?? DEPENDS??!?!!?
I checked out (and I swear the clerk was talking overly loudly, like she thought I had a hearing problem) and had Annie on the phone before I hit the parking lot. Of course, she laughed her head off. But she did reassure me that I probably won't need a hearing aid or walker for a couple more years. Ah, the blissful oblivion of being 24.
I grabbed DaBoys when I got home (who didn't seem to notice that their dog mom is growing frailer by the hour) and went for a loooooong, hilly walk. Part of which we ran, until Sammy spied a bird and almost yanked my arm out of my socket. But I felt great when we got home, having taken such a strenuous walk that I left all notions of advancing senior citizenitis a couple miles behind us. Ha! Take that, old age!
So now I'm sitting here with my JoAnn Etc. bag and just pulled out my bargain cardstock and the two stamps I bought at 50% off. Know what else was in the bag?
A brightly colored flyer for senior citizens discount day.
Are you serious???
That's it. You'll have to excuse me. I'm going to go heft some landscaping rocks around, after which I'll probably change my oil while holding the car up with my other hand.

5 comments:

  1. OMG, hehehe, this is so funny!! I so needed that today, hehe!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought those were liver spots that I saw yesterday! *wink, wink*

    Happy National Scrapbook Day!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG Lori!!! Wait till you get into your 50s!!! :) Your story gave me a good laugh just when I needed one! Happy NSD! And you're just a youngster still. Believe me, old age is VERY far off! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a funny story, Lori - hey, as long as you can still hoist the stones and your car, who cares how old you are??? Hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are too darn funny!! Remind me not to be drinking anything when I read your blog...I will share your blog with my Mom, she will be able to relate! Baaahhhahahaha!!!!

    ReplyDelete