Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Number Six!

I'm going to tell you something and I don't want you to laugh, okay? Because if you think about this for a minute, you'll realize how brilliant it is.
6. The Drink Bra. If you're a crutch user, as I am, you'll understand my greatest frustration: not being able to carry a vodka gimlet from the bar to the living room. Er, I mean glass of water from the sink to the couch.
And arrive with something other than an empty glass.
But what's a lurching girl to do?? I thought first of a solution along the lines of Bill Murray's conveyance for his fish, Gill, in the movie "What About Bob?" But a bobbing glass jar strung around my neck seemed a sure way to blacken something ocular or boobular. I thought of some sort of backpack thingy but then there's the inconvenience of using it once you've reached your destination.
Ladies and gentleman, I give you THE DRINK BRA. A generous-sized vessel that can be looped over your shoulders once you've nestled it into it's natural spot in your chestular area. With a straw so that you don't even have to take it off to drink from it. Think of all the people who would love having a Drink Bra - data entry clerks! Bus drivers! Traffic cops! Air traffic controllers! Busy moms everywhere! Not to mention the crutch-bound like me!
Mark my words -someday, you'll be buying these babies on sale in WalMart. Just remember it was my idea first!


  1. Marvelous idea, Lori!! I look forward to seeing The People of Walmart wearing it!!!

    Glad to see your wonderful sense of humor has not been hampered by your surgery!! Hope your recovery isn't too agonizing for you or AOK!


  2. I hear ya Lori! LOL!! When I broke my foot I was on crutches for 8 weeks with a one year old baby too!!! I used my old office chair with wheels and rolled around. LMAO!!!!!!!!!

  3. OMG Lori!!!!! I'm ROFLMBO!!!! Hope you can get it all figured out soon... Maybe you should plan a trip to the Shark Tank (ABC's new show for entrepreneurs like yourself)..... LOL! Get better really soon!

  4. Hang in there, Lori!!!
    So glad to see that the pain killers haven't affected you too much! ;) ((HUGS))

  5. Too funny! Hope you're mobile soon!

  6. OMG!!! You're a riot! Feel better soon!