Saturday, November 14, 2009


So I had my cast off a few days ago and got to see my naked foot, which made me wonder if my surgeon wasn't related to Picasso.

Good news: I'm healing nicely and no longer have to seek an alternative level of consciousness because of an itch in the arch of my foot that I can't scratch.

Bad news: I'm in a giant boot that seems to have come from the Frankenstein line of medical products. Annie about fell off the chair laughing when the doctor drug this thing into the room. Later, she suggested that Hardware Ken should bring home bolts to attach to the sides of it. I think its made of cast iron because the frickin' thing weighs about 20 pounds. I'm only five feet tall and I learned quickly that my aim had better be true cuz I'm going wherever Frankenboot goes instead of the other way around. Lucky me - I get to lug this thing around on crutches for another 8 to 10 weeks.

So I'm looking into this thing called the Drive Kneewalker which is like a scooter for crips. Quite zippy, very handy and will sure make getting to the bathroom easier altho I will still have to go upstairs on my knees and downstairs on my butt since there's no way I'm test driving Frankenboot on carpeted stairs. And if there is any justice in this universe I will come out of this with skinny knees and a smaller butt.

However, with my luck I'll probably end up with a withered left leg and a right leg that looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger's thanks to Frankenboot.

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