Sunday, September 5, 2010

Small Gestures

My friend, Eileen, lost her best friend and the love of her life this weekend to cancer. Pat was a big guy who loved his Harleys, laughed long and loud and was a total "guy" when it came to powering through whatever ailed him.
Except he couldn't power through this.
I know people who are living relatively normal lives while being treated for cancer, thanks to progress made in the the fight against this awful disease. But Pat had adenocarcinoma, cancer of the sheaths that cover the nerves in the body. It is a cruel and ravenous bastard. In the space of five short weeks, adenocarcinoma brought down this big tough guy, but not before making him suffer horribly.
Thankfully, Pat's suffering is finally over. He's in the arms of the Lord, and things like tumors and morphine and hallucinations are long gone.
But how do you go about easing someone's pain when they've lost their husband?
You say prayers. Thanks to you amazing friends I have online, people who don't even know Pat have been praying for him. We've all been saying them, and I know they work.
Last night, I baked cupcakes and made pasta salad just to keep busy. DaGoils and I will pile into our cars and go visit Eileen this afternoon and I'll take my cupcakes and pasta salad. We'll hug and cry and talk and hug some more. Such small gestures that will be repeated often in the coming months because we know Eileen's suffering won't be over for a long time.
She is no cream puff, either. This is a lady who walked the first twenty miles of the Breast Cancer 3Day Walk with a migraine. If you've ever had a migraine, you can appreciate the resolve and strength of this woman.
Please remember Eileen in your prayers now. The next weeks and months mean adjusting to the worst loss of her life without the one person who could make it all better.
And I know Eileen. She'd sign up for a migraine every day for the rest of her life if she could just have Pat back beside her.


  1. I'm so sorry....condolences to you, and to Eileen...

  2. Sending my love and prayers for Pat and Eileen! And, for all of his friends and family, as well

  3. Oh Lori! I have been praying for Pat and Eileen ever since you posted about him on MSW. But reading this post has made me cry all over again. Sending out lots and lots of love and saying lots more prayer for Eileen and the rest of Pat's family. You are a true friend and I'm sure your efforts as small as you may think they are, are much appreciated by Eileen. God bless you Lori and I look forward to meeting Pat someday in heaven. {{{HUGS}}}

  4. My prayers for your friend and the family. None of us want to lose a loved one, but love and care tfor those around the helps. We just have to remember that.

  5. So sorry to hear of Eileen's loss, but may the knowledge that Pat is pain-free after suffering so horribly be a small comfort as she grieves. You are an amazing friend to her! Praying for you all.