Thursday, April 8, 2010

Earworms

Did you ever get a song stuck in your head and no matter what you do it won't go away?
About halfway through the grocery this morning, I realized I was bobbing my head to Imma Be by the Black Eyed Peas. If you haven't heard it, Imma Be is a right catchy little tune. But when you are a 50-something woman bebopping your way through frozen foods to a tune only you can hear. . . well, people stare.
Not that having people stare at me is a new thing. I once sat through an entire church service with a pink curler imprisoned in the back of my hair, but that's a different blog post.
The problem with earworms - those pesky tunes stuck in your head like frantic birds flapping around a warehouse - is that once they get in there, you can't do a darn thing to get rid of them.
A few weeks back, I drove to Columbus to help Annie paint the rest of her apartment. I was looking forward to some alone time with my daughter figuring we'd get a lot done and have a blast doing it. (By my estimate, it's not a family visit unless you laugh so hard you snort Diet Pepsi through your nose at least once.) Instead, I nearly drove Annie crazy thanks to Lady GaGa and a little tune called "Bad Romance." And the fact that I have a tendancy to sing out loud to my earworms. The visit progressed something like this:

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma Roma-ma
GaGa, ooh-la-la
Want your bad romance . . . walking up two flights of stairs with painting supplies, wine, sewing machine and a suitcase.

I want your drama, the touch of your hand
I want your leather studded kiss in the scene
I want your love, love love, love
I want your love . . . spreading out dropcloths and stirring cans of Westminster Gold and Legacy Blue.

Caught in a bad romance
Caught in a bad romance . . . washing paint out of my favorite Harley Davidson tshirt where Annie "accidentally" caught me with a paint roller.

I want your love I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your love and all your lover's revenge
You and me could write a bad romance . . . driving to JoAnn Fabrics for material to make kitchen curtains.

I don't want to be friends
I want your bad romance
I want your bad ro. . . Annie brandishing a big bolt of polka dotted fabric and threatening to staple my lips together if I didn't STOP WITH THE LADY GAGA ALREADY.

But the worst. . . the absolutely most nightmarish worst. . . are earworms of songs you hate. Those are the most potently awful, like a curse that you can't do a thing about. All I have to do is hear the tiniest snatch of them and they're embedded in my brain for days. Songs like "It's a Small World After All" or "The Song That Never Ends" or anything by Burl Ives.
Wait!!
What did I just do!!????
Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh!
Now I've got Burl Ives stuck in my head!!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Must. . .turn on . . . radio . . .and. . . wash out. . . mind's ear. . . .lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. . .

3 comments:

  1. Hahahaha I love this because only in your head did the entire song play. In reality, you sang the first three lines OUT LOUD every twenty minutes or so. Only the first three lines. Until I ever so politely suggested that we find a NEW SONG. :)

    It was a great weekend, though, and my kitchen and bathroom look FANTASTIC!

    Thanks Mom!!

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  2. Oh, how I have missed you!! BTW, I swear I had the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme song stuck in my head for about two years straight!!

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  3. Love that Lady Gaga song and it gets stuck in my head too!

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